I stared at my phone forever and finally typed out a message to a friend.

Then I deleted it.

I thought about what might be the most appropriate thing to say to someone who is facing difficult things. I started to type again.

Then I deleted it.

I closed my eyes and asked God to give me the right words to soothe the hurting heart of someone I care about. Something came to mind, but I wasn’t sure if that was God or my brain, so I figured I’d better opened my eyes and start to type again.

Then I deleted it.

The thing about it is that I’ve been on the other end of those messages many times and I know that there is nothing anyone can say to fix the struggles or ease the heartaches. But do you know what those people can and have done for me?

They reminded me that I was loved and not alone.

So I closed my eyes one more time and took a deep breath.

I prayed, not that I could make anything better, but that the people I care about would know they are seen and loved. Then I opened my eyes, typed out a simple message, and hit send.

I’m certain that I didn’t have the perfect words and I always wish I could do more, but sometimes the greatest thing we can do is to show up with what we have to offer.

Friends, I know it’s impossible to know what to say when people you love are hurting. I know that you don’t want to mess it up by saying the wrong thing. I know that the fear of it all can keep you from saying anything at all. So let me tell you this.

Say something. In person. On the phone. Via text. However it feels most appropriate is fine, but say something.

“This really sucks and I’m so sorry.”

“Thinking of you today.”

“Just wanted you to know I’m praying for you.”

“Love you.”

“Sending hugs.”

I’m serious here. It doesn’t have to be poetry. Your people will remember that you remembered. They will feel a little bit less alone in the darkness. They will see that you aren’t afraid of their struggles. They will know they are loved.

Maybe that’s not everything, but that’s certainly something. And friends, that matters.

*Let’s keep in touch, friend. I’d love to send you my monthly email. You can sign up here and join me over on Facebook anytime!