I read an article years ago that said the best thing we can say to our child athletes is, “I love to watch you play.” It sounded nice and I even gave it a try with my nieces and nephews, but I never completely understood why that simple sentence was better than the typical good job, great hustle, or awesome play. Those were nice things to say, weren’t they?

A few weeks ago I shared a video of a funny conversation I had with my young daughter. A short while later a message popped up. I expected a heart emoji or a comment about how cute my kid is because duh, she’s adorable and friends tell friends how cute their kids are. But that’s not the message I received. Instead, I found a simple message that said, “I just love watching you be a momma.”

And it clicked. My friend didn’t praise me for the healthy meal I fed my child, the amount of time I spent teaching her that day, or the craft project that we completed. She didn’t compliment the schedule I managed to keep or the fact that we made our beds that morning. She didn’t suggest I had it all together. She said, “I just love watching you be a momma.”

I felt zero pressure to perform or present for such praise in the future. I didn’t place my worth as a mother on how many noteworthy things I accomplished that day. Not once did the thought occur to me that if I worked harder, did better, or shared more I would be, or at least appear to be, a better mom. What did happen? I felt seen. Not because I made a great play or hustled all day. I felt loved simply for being me. I felt encouraged to keep showing up, keep trying, and keep loving my child.

“I just love watching you be a momma.” That’s the kindest thing another mom ever said to me.