I’m not the first to say it, but I believe it bears repeating. MOTHER’S DAY IS HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE.

It might be your thing, but maybe it’s not.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel the way you feel and I’d like to offer you these words of truth.

If you love Mother’s Day…

By all means, please enjoy! Wear that pretty dress, sit proudly with your brood at church, enjoy those beautiful flowers, and eat that yummy brunch. Send flowers to your mom, take mother/daughter photos to post on social media, and gush over how blessed you are. Mother’s Day might be difficult for some people, but if it is happy for you- THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.

If Mother’s Day is hard for you…

If this day comes with complicated feelings of grief, sadness, loss, anger, emptiness, or pain- you are under no obligation to participate. You can take the day off from social media. God will still love you if you just can’t do church this Sunday morning. You can sit this one out if you need to. Mother’s Day might be happy for some people, but if it is difficult for you- THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT. You do what you need to do, friend.

YOU GET TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR UNIQUE SITUATION.

Happy or sad. Joy or grief. Excitement or dread. You can feel one thing or all the things or nothing at all. Whatever your feelings about the second Sunday in May, please know that your feelings are valid.

If this day with your mother is welcomed and it gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings- that’s okay.

If your own mother is gone and this day without her feels unbearable- that’s okay.

If your relationship with your mother is complicated and doesn’t summon warm hugs and pretty flowers- that’s okay.

If your children shower you with homemade gifts and your mama heart might actually burst from all the feels- that’s okay.

If your heart aches with an unfulfilled desire to be a mom and you just can’t face the fuss of the day- that’s okay.

If you have experienced child loss and this day stirs up memories that feel too big- that’s okay.

If motherhood doesn’t look like you thought it would and you aren’t quite sure what to make of a day that presents as a Hallmark commercial- that’s okay.

If you are a birth mom who placed her child for adoption and the feelings are just so complicated- that’s okay.

If you are an adoptive mother with overwhelming emotions for the birth mother of your child- that’s okay.

If you are or you have a step mom or a bonus mom or a foster mom or any sort of mother figure and you have feelings that don’t fit in a tidy box- that’s okay.

If ____________, and you feel _____________- that’s okay.

You can feel however you need to feel about whatever your circumstances are.

Even more, you don’t necessarily owe anyone else an explanation for those feelings. Please know that you can take a moment to collect your thoughts and feelings. Then take those things to your person or your people.

YOU GET TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.

Tell your people what you need and want for Mother’s Day. It’s okay to say that you’d love to be catered to and pampered all day. You can say that you want to treat the day just like any other. If you’d like to have a big party, then you can say that, too. But you can also say that you’d rather be alone. Your people cannot read your mind and it’s okay to tell them what you need. Not only do you get to do that, but there is also power and love in doing that.

This is a made-up day. It was intended for good and then commercialized to the max. In the end, even the woman who created the American version of Mother’s Day tried to get it removed from the calendar. No matter, it is here now. If it serves you and your loved ones well, then enjoy it. But if it does not, then that’s okay, too, friend.

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