Why do we so easily discount our small victories?

Yesterday my three-year-old daughter figured out that she can swing standing up and this is no big deal. Tons of kids have known this forever. Tons of kids do it every day. Tons of kids are climbing, jumping risk-takers.

My child is not a climbing, jumping risk-taker. Never has been. She’s cautious and mindful. She’s a sit on your bottom, watch where you’re going, be careful kind of kid, but yesterday she moved out of her comfort zone and tried something new. But when she attempted something that felt a little risky for her, she found out that she was braver than she thought and more capable than she knew. I encouraged her willingness to try and then we squealed together in celebration.

I often don’t extend the same praise to myself. I don’t let myself feel proud of accomplishments that others have already conquered. I minimize my own efforts, risks, and successes because someone else has done them first, done them better, or done them bigger. I do this all the flipping time. What a crock, y’all.

Why do we feel like we need to compare our victories?

I recently sat in silence as friends spoke casually about training for a marathon. I listened as they nonchalantly chatted about running 26 miles before work. I looked away when someone mentioned their steady nine-minute pace. Instead of feeling happy for them, I felt sorry for myself. Instead of congratulating them on being amazing, I silently criticized- I criticized them for being so casual about it and myself for not being able to do the same.

In those moments I told myself that my 2019 goal to walk or hike 365 miles in 365 days was dumb and irrelevant. I didn’t bring it up, because I was sure that everyone else would see it that way, too. Today I’m re-framing my thoughts around this.

Now I let others be proud of their accomplishments and let myself feel proud of mine.

First, I give myself credit. Then I acknowledge the effort and determination I put forth to accomplish a goal I’ve set for myself. I pat myself on the back for getting off the couch and remember I’m allowed to give myself points for trying. Today, I’m giving myself a high five for being braver than I thought and more capable than I knew.

I’ve walked or hiked 140 miles in the first 140 days of 2019 and I am proud of myself. Gals who ran 26 miles before work today, I’m proud of you, too. Daughter of mine who feels like a standing-up-on- the-swing-set rockstar, I think you’re a pretty big deal, too.

I’m proud of you, too.

Your effort and determination. Your grit and risk-taking. Your bravery and perseverance. Even your baby steps, friend. Your willingness and accomplishments. Your successes and lessons learned. Claim your small victories. These things of yours are not less because someone else’s looks like more. Let your victory be a victory.

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