Let me tell you a story about a young mama that took her two little girls shopping for new big girl bedding.

There I was, in a Target aisle with my husband and two very excited little girls.

All around us were fluffy pillows, feminine ruffles, and pastel linens. My girl mama dreams were about to come true and then… those little girls of mine zeroed in on High School Musical and The Jonas Brothers.

I redirected them to the shabby chic florals and coordinating curtains.

They went back to the character bedding and pop up hampers.

I resisted.

Then my husband gave me a little “it’s their room” look. I’d really like to tell you I saw the big picture, but I just dug in my heels. Right there in the home section of that store, I came dangerously close to throwing a hissy fit.

To this day, I’m ashamed to admit it.

Thanks to the reasonable voice of my husband, one big pair of baby blues, and one pair of deep brown eyes, I didn’t get my way. Thank God for that.

Alex and Emma’s new big girl room didn’t look like I wanted it to. It looked like they wanted it to.

It wasn’t what I dreamed of and all these years later I’M SO THANKFUL.

Lean in, mamas, because I’ve got some gentle advice.

Let those kiddos be themselves. I know you have plans, ideas, and wants, but they do, too.

There are many many decisions you must make for your kids every day because it’s your job to keep them safe and well. But there are also opportunities to give them a bit of control and autonomy.

Look for moments to give your child autonomy.

There are things worth digging your heels into, but friend, I mean this in the nicest possible way, there are some things that simply aren’t worth the fight.

I know you like it your way and you’ve got ideas of how things could or should be, but your kids are people, too. So whether it’s about decor or clothes or Halloween costumes or something else entirely, please consider whether it’s really worth the fight.

You might need to bite your tongue and fake a little smile in the moment, but I promise that years from now you’ll think back and all you’ll remember are the smiling eyes of the little people you loved so dearly. I promise that’s a million times better than any decor or costume or material thing ever could be.

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Hugs, Mandy